My Holiday Season Survival Guide
My three-year-old daughter scampered about the yard this morning, celebrating the crisp air and shouting, “It’s Christmas time! It’s Christmas time!” And roughly every fifteen minutes, she wants reassurance and asks, “Mommy, is it Christmas time?” (This question has been ongoing for the past two weeks, mind you.) “Yes,” I reply. And sometimes I want to respond with, “Yes, it’s Christmas time. Heaven help me! Calgon take me away!” Why? Because in between the cute TV commercials I see news “flashes” about our recession. And because as a newly single mom with a new position here at NYFC, I’m trying to re-establish some balance. If I’m not mindful, the additional holiday stress could kick my blood pressure up a notch. So, I’ve decided to approach this holiday season with a new perspective, and I’ll share some of that with you. This is nothing revolutionary. It just involves a few strategies I’ve picked up through the years and modified for the holidays. (It pays sometimes to work in a place where one is surrounded by professional therapists.) Before I continue, I want to clarify that I celebrate Christmas, and I’ll be referring to it within my survival guide. If you celebrate a different holiday, I have confidence some or all of these strategies will transfer. It’s also my survival guide, so at the risk of sounding self-absorbed, I’m writing in the first person. It also means that you can take or leave some or all of the following tips!
First and foremost, I will keep the big picture in front of me at all times. The season means the most to my daughter, who, as I said is three years old. So much is new to her and inspires awe. Therefore, I will attempt to think of the holiday season from her perspective and act accordingly…within reason, of course. There is freedom in doing this because what it means is the following (not ranked in order of importance):
#1: I will not exhaust myself by decorating the house. My decorations will be determined by the three-year-old. As a result, some older folks will describe my holiday decor as “pathetic.” I even chuckle at our tree with its pink tinsel, glaring bald spots, lopsided decorations and lights. My daughter loves it, however, and she helped adorn it, so it’s perfect.
#2: I will get the kiddo a Christmas gift she’ll like and use, rather than what I think will dazzle her. Although I think the roaring, stomping, remote controlled dinosaur in a display box at Target would make her Christmas morning the best ever, she enjoys it thoroughly at Target. It makes our trips to the store fun for her. If I bought that thing, it would break my budget, and she would no longer have that dinosaur to look forward to when we visit Target. Watercolors and paper won’t break my budget, however, and if she plays with a watercolor set for 10 minutes before getting bored with it, I won’t be too upset about that.
#3: I will say “No.” Since this is a favorite word for many three-year-olds, I will adopt it.
I recognize there are limits to what I can do if I want to stay healthy and sane. Prioritizing is essential. That means I might turn down an invitation in order to rest and regain some energy. That means I won’t spend time and money buying little gifts to keep on hand in case a neighbor I hardly know shows up with a present.
#4: I will be flexible. This will require me to stay focused on the big picture. For instance, it isn’t necessary to force the kiddo to sit through an entire holiday concert, when we can slip out early and end the day in a happy mood. It isn’t necessary for me to teach my daughter to ice-skate. Instead, I’ll wait until my brother gets in town because unlike me, he can actually skate. It will give my daughter another great memory with her “Uncle Boo,” and I will have less stress (and fewer injuries).
#5: I will participate in a toy drive to help my daughter learn about reality and the importance of giving.
#6: I will add wiggle room into my schedule to allow time for the unexpected or to take a nap!
#7: I will not make cookies from scratch when the ready-made will do just fine.
#8: I will love my daughter well by including her father in our holiday celebrations.
#9: I will put aside my pride and accept others’ help and generosity, knowing that friendship involves accepting as well as giving.
#10: I will remember to breathe.
Please share your holiday survival guide and stress management tips with us.
From all of us at NYFC, Happy Holidays!
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