Survivor’s Poem: I Once Was a Victim

October 19, 2009 by admin
Filed under: Domestic Violence 

I once was a victim

I thought he loved me because I loved him

I stayed no matter how many times he hit me

I stayed because he told me he was sorry and loved me

I stayed because he told me he would stop

I stayed because he threatened me not to leave

I stayed because he told me he wasn’t scared of jail or the cops

I stayed because he told me he needed me and couldn’t live without me

I stayed because I was pregnant with his child

I stayed because I was told and felt if I left I was weak

I stayed because he sobbed and I had never seen a man do that

I stayed because he begged me and promised he’d go to counseling

I stayed because I wanted to make him happy

I stayed because he told me no one else would want me

I stayed because I didn’t know any better

I stayed until I had had enough

I stayed until I realized he would never change

I then stayed until I felt safe enough to leave

The truth is

I now realize all of this was just my excuses

It enabled him to continue to control and inflict bruises

It enabled him to degrade me and make me feel useless

I am no longer a victim

I have newfound freedom

Which was always there

But didn’t realize it cause I was blinded by fear

Now I can live, smile and breathe

Without first thinking am I going to make him angry or am I fulfilling his needs

I am going to stay gone

I want my happiness, security sanity and life to be prolonged

 

Taihitia

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