Just Breathe….and then What?
I don’t know what your days are like, but I imagine they’re something like mine.
Here we go: Be rudely awakened by alarm. Roll out of bed, crawl into shower, debate whether it’s really necessary to shave my legs. Out of the shower, shuffle to kitchen and grab much-needed cup of coffee. Open fridge to get breakfast for my little girl. Notice independent ecosystems inside 3 left-over containers. Vow to throw them out tonight. Turn on Sesame Street to keep the kiddo occupied while I get myself ready for the day. Kiss husband goodbye. Redress daughter because she has put on her clothes inside-out and/or backwards. Return to kitchen, open pantry to grab some bread in order to make a sandwich to take for lunch because I’m determined to save some money and quit eating fast food. Remove mold from corners of the 2 remaining slices of bread. Throw lunch in to-go bag. Fill my overpriced Starbucks travel mug with a second round of coffee. Pick up newspaper on our way to the car, which desperately needs washing, and hope to read newspaper during lunch at work. Promptly exit car and return to house because I forgot something, and then forget what that something was by the time we get inside. Stomp back to vehicle. Remain calm while (1) agreeing with child as to the beauty of dandelions in our yard and (2) demanding that she get her little behind in the carseat right now. Drive lil’ britches to learning center and fret about how I’m running late yet again.
Get to the office, respond to emails while fielding calls, answering questions from entire world (okay, a few colleagues). Attempt to make progress on projects with rapidly approaching deadlines. Realize at lunchtime that I forgot to eat breakfast, forgot about a doctor’s appointment (which was indeed on my calendar), and forgot to have daughter brush her teeth. Wonder if I filled the dogs’ water bowl. Reluctantly eat lunch with my colleagues instead of at my desk, which I believe I really should do because the pile of work is growing rather than shrinking. Enjoy some gallows humor during lunch along with relentless teasing about my PB&J and drinking milk from a Lightning McQueen sippy cup (it’s all I could find). The afternoon continues like the morning, and the project with the now-closer deadline remains virtually untouched. Go home, water garden, feed dogs, make dinner, attempt to have uninterrupted conversation with husband, get daughter to bed. Glare at basket of clean clothes needing folding. Curse the clock because it’s already 10pm, and I have 14 loads of laundry needing washing (okay, 4). Squat down to pick up a wayward toy and wince at how much harder it is to get back up than it used to be, scold myself for never exercising, and worry about what I’ll be like when I’m 70 if I can hardly pick myself up off the floor now! Crawl into bed around 11pm, and realize I’m too pooped to read the newspaper.
I bet you can relate.
“Breathe,” I’ve been told. “Just breathe.”
So, during lunch today, I asked one of my colleagues here at NYFC who happens to be our full-time therapist, “So, Pat, I breathe. Then what?”
Pat’s reply: “Well, breathing helps manage the stress, but you can take action in order to reduce that stress.”
“Like what, Ms. Therapist?” And two other colleagues pipe in, “Yeah, Pat, like what?”
“Prioritize.” She says. “Determine what is most important. For instance, is the laundry really necessary to do at 10 at night, or can it wait ‘til Saturday?”
One colleague responds in her usual fashion, “Yeah, it can wait if I wear my underwear inside-out.”
Pat shakes her head and continues, “Make a list. And it’s helpful if you look at it, unlike me, who makes lists that end up at the bottom of my purse. So, put the list in a noticeable place, like on the fridge. And make it realistic, with just 3 or 4 items.”
We agreed that was a good idea.
Pat continued, “So, because it’s not acceptable to wear your underwear inside-out, a load of laundry is on the top of the list today. And make sure the laundry you do is your underwear and not the sheets because that won’t help you get dressed tomorrow! Then, watering the garden is on there because it’s a must. If you don’t have milk for the munchkin, then getting to the grocery store is important. There’s your list.”
She added that it’s also important to ask for help. “Ask your husband to feed the dogs,” she says.
“Then, set your alarm so that you get up early enough to accomplish a few things. It’s important to know how many snoozes you can tolerate. For me, after the fourth time I hit the snooze button, I’ve had it, and I’ll get up. So factor snooze time in, as well.”
Pat also stated that it’s important to know your limits. “If you’ve had a bad day, and you’re in a foul mood, maybe you should ask for help so that you don’t kill any humans today.” She looked at me, “On those days, call your mom and ask her to pick up the wee one from school because if you have to do it, somebody won’t make it home.” She closes her eyes and smiles. Another colleague doesn’t love the comment about somebody not making it home, but Pat explains. “Really, sometimes the stress can be so high that you feel that way. Doesn’t mean you’ll hurt anyone, but you just feel like you’ve reached your wits’ end, and it’s important to ask for help when that occurs.”
Finally, she insists that we make time for ourselves. “With the summer and kids and all that’s going on, you have to value yourself enough to set aside time for you, even if it’s just reading the Sunday paper in bed. It’s important to give yourself some time every week, or resentment can build up.”
And throughout the crazy week, breathe.
Comments
2 Comments on Just Breathe….and then What?
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flex on
Mon, 13th Jul 2009 8:09 pm
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flex on
Fri, 16th Apr 2010 8:30 pm
Hilarious. I hate to read but I was laughing my head off. Can’t wait until the next post. Matter of fact I’m going to subscribe. Hilarious I say.
Really liked the survival guide. Keep up the good work. Happy blogging ur good @ it
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